I’m always startled to hear about distant fathers, absent fathers, neglectful parents…
I want to be a father, very badly.
I don’t see it as sacrifice, giving up my time or money to raise a child. I don’t see losing my independence and space and quiet life as a sacrifice. My life is in service to the child. It will rely on me and my wife for all of its needs. It will need us to teach it about science, mathematics, medicine, history, morality, justice, truth, love. As someone who has worked ever since they were a kid, there is a certain peace that comes in service.
It is easy to devote oneself. To make caring and service habitual. In fact, it tends to remove a lot of negative side effects the independence can have. Being wholly responsible for the time you have, and what you do with it, for one. It also keep decision making simple. The time should be devoted to the child, and the decisions should revolve around optimal outcomes for the family.
Maybe its just me, or because I’m not a father yet, but there are so many kids in the foster system (something my wife and I have discussed at length.) So many moms and kids without a father. Wonderful ones too. I’ve met some very hard working single women with kids, and it breaks my heart to think that some douche didn’t want this.
How in the world could someone get a woman pregnant, and just leave her? I have the impulse, as it is, to step in and BE the father…a weird sort of instinctual drive, I imagine. How did they resist that? How did they resist her glow? The urge to pick up that kid and protect it…hold it…be part of its life?
It is overwhelming some days. What a precious gift, to have a child, and strong mother to support them.
Ladies, don’t ever let feminism tell you that being a mom is some sort of chain to keep you imprisoned and subservient to a man.
It is her capacity for motherhood, to give me a family, and her virtue, that has earned my service, protection, respect, and love. Our child will be no different. I will be proud to be the father to her children.
To you men who gave that up….you are fools. To a degree that I will never understand.